The Challenges of The Teen / Emerging Adult

Adolescents entering puberty and beyond have “the world at their feet.”  It can be a nice problem to have or a burdensome one, depending on your viewpoint.

Adolescents are still developing the full brain of an adult, but at the same time are now venturing beyond the nest in discovery of the wider world and self.  It is both a time of discovery and experimentation with risks.  But without risks no lessons are learnt.

A remarkable few make their way through adolescence unscathed.  Others, however, lose their sense of self-direction or become overwhelmed by the vast life decisions confronting them.  These “decisions” or courses of action are on every front – the choice of who to ‘hangout with’ and not appear a dork; the choices of study and an evaluation whether the effort justifies the means; and how they develop a social standing among others that is acceptable and separate from parental influence.

Moving through puberty, adolescents are adjusting to changes to their body impacting on their self-image and acceptance by their peers.  They come to appreciate they need to compete with their peers for grades at school, sport, choice of boyfriend / girlfriend.  The age of innocence is fast lost amongst all the competing influences and stressors.

For adolescents with learning difficulties or disability, the challenges to surmount are even harder.  Adolescents, and indeed “adolescence” is marked with a pecking order.  There is a natural gravitation towards peers of similar ability and appearance at the expense of those who do not make the ‘cut’.  This tends to lead to adolescents living in the fringes and shadow of the mainstream group.  So called “tolerance of diversity” is only as good as there are measures implemented to stamp out harassment, discrimination and bullying when it arises.

The fact is adolescents can be self-absorbed and mean to fellow peers for a range of reasons; but usually to assert their dominance and ‘save face’ with their immediate friendship group.

The trouble for youth is these “friends” come and go (i.e. swap their allegiances) so there is ongoing change and often upset to which they must adapt.  This applies equally to girls as boys.

So, in short, adolescence has its challenges, and it is rarely a steady, linear and easy-going path to adulthood for most youth.

So what can help youth during their turbulent teen years?

Having access to a supportive adult or counsellor with whom they can openly and non-judgementally discuss their issues and aspirations.  This applies equally to youth that display signs of good self-direction as much as wayward youth that appear to have lost their way.

Youth develop a keen sense of whose company they feel safe in when it comes to adults.  Typically, it is someone that takes an active listening stance in what interests them, time and time again.  Once this interaction mode is established, youth are more receptive to guidance and will often seek an opinion about a matter of concern.

Youth often “demand” to be treated as young adults, since this is both where they are pitching and desirous of attaining.  It is important for parents to recognise this, despite the vast learning curve youth have before them.

If your teenager needs assistance in some way, then Tim would be happy to help.

In the first instance make contact with Tim and outline the help required using the Contact Form here.

Tim will get back to you to discuss the matter and to make recommendations.