“Mind over Matter” – Mindfulness

Our brains are wired exquisitely to note harm or danger in order to keep us safe and out of harm’s way.  For example, if we walk on a bee in bare feet and receive a sting, we quickly learn to avoid that location or to wear something protective on our feet next occasion.

 

Just as we are wired and cued to avoid harm after a first occasion, so too we are wired to recall negative impacts or consequences for ourselves on any given day, rather than positive matters.  That is to say, we regularly mark-up negative matters overtaking us but fail to note the positives also arising in our day.  At a base level, those positives can be as simple as getting to work and home unscathed in thick traffic, the compliment of a work colleague at work, or simply having got across the majority of our work tasks in a day.

 

And with all the negative events in the news and media globally capturing our attention, how do we position ourselves to remain calm and positive?

 

Research establishes support networks – family and friends at home, and associates in the workplace, provide an important role in the maintenance of our ongoing sense of safety and security.

 

Where that support isn’t available for whatever reason, it is not that easy to throw off our negative thoughts and life challenges.  This is because we do not have a different point of reference to influence the way we are feeling about our issues, that is our perception of matters.

 

At the same time, our brain will often over-think or catastrophise matters, when they loom large to us and appear insurmountable.

 

It is the connection between mind and body here that leads to a different biochemistry within ourselves.  That biochemistry is triggered by negative catastrophic thoughts where we believe we are powerless to change the course of our destiny or are in harm’s way.  Such thoughts give rise to anxiety and the release of cortisol in readiness to ‘fight’ or flight’ a presenting harm.

 

Significantly, a common reaction is to redirect our thoughts away from those causing the discomfort by compartmentalising them to the far recesses of our mind, or alternatively, dismissing them altogether (classic avoidance).  Doing so, however, often means such thoughts return when triggered later or when we are idle.  So rather than addressing the issue or negative thinking, it is like we are on a constant time delay, with these returning time and time again.

 

What to Do About Our Negative Thoughts?

Since we are intrinsically wired to notice and mark-up our negative thoughts to avoid harm, how about we not avoid them but instead challenge them and decide to sit with them and our anxiety.  That is “let them be”.  Is it possible??

 

I confirm it is possible once we turn off our adrenalin pump that readies us for “flight and flight”.  The best way of doing that is using controlled breathing.  In the stillness that follows we can apply mindfulness.

 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness recognises those thoughts that give us agency from those that do not.

 

Mindfulness also teaches us that “worry for worry sake” is futile and pointless.  Worry is only so good that it drives us toward an action plan.  That assumes we can influence whatever is worrying us.

 

However, what if whatever is worrying us is outside our circle of influence, or capacity to alter in any decisive way?  Mind over matter here dictates that we recognise that we have little control over the issue.  Given that, rationally we need to stand back from the matter and recognise it is not a good use of our time, attention or energy.  In other words, we may note it as a concern but should elect to dismiss it from our memory since we have no control whatsoever over the outcome.

 

It is rather like worrying about how to stop a bus whose brakes have failed running down a hill.  It is totally outside our control to stop it so we are forced to hope that it will come to rest eventually.  No amount of worrying will stop the bus from heading down the hill.  It is therefore a fruitless and wasteful exercise to focus our energies on this at the expense of all else.  However, that is precisely what we do because of the way our brains are wired.

 

So when something is out of our control, we need to recognise this and dismiss the thought as something we need to hold to work on.  Rather, it is out of control to influence the outcome.  Doing so is an act of mindfulness, and it prevents unnecessary “states of worry”.

 

But what about those worries in which we can exert some influence to direct the outcome?

I would say to you that those worries are only so good as they can be solved.  That is worries circling in your mind without arriving at a ‘plan of action’ also do not serve us well.  If we can’t arrive at an action plan, then we are better leaving well alone and coming back to it at a time when we can.

 

I have good reason for stating this.  If our mind becomes a repository of unsolved concerns, then it quickly looms larger than life itself!  Better we ‘dump’ the worry by writing it down with a view to coming back to it later.  Ditto - all unsolved worries of this nature.

 

If you don’t have the resources to solve the worry at a later date yourself, then enlist the assistance of others for their opinions.  If it is still unsolvable, then it probably belongs in “the too hard basket’ and the learning here is you probably overestimated its complexity or your capacity to solve it.  In any case, you have given it your best shot and you should leave it well alone and move on.

 

By adopting mindful techniques around your worries, you are freed up to tend to those matters that are both within your grasp and circle of influence or locus of control.

 

If you have always been a “worrier” and require assistance in developing these mindful techniques, Tim at Praxim would be happy to assist.

 

In the first instance drop Tim an enquiry by outlining the help you require here.

Alternatively, book an appointment here.